More on Collecting DNA from Children for National DNA Databases

by Dr. Hsien-Hsien Lei
Posted March 20, 2008 in DNA and the Law

Sara Gaines at Guardian’s Joe Public blog has outed me as a bully in a discussion about children’s DNA in the UK national database. There’s also more from Evan Maloney at the Splat! Blog who coins the word “DNAed” for someone whose DNA is being collected:

Personally I’m all for the idea of dobbing in five year olds to the cops before they break the law. What a change in class-room behaviour that would create for primary teachers. Next time Wally the class clown is cracking jokes instead of listening to teacher, the teacher can respond with a sharp, ‘Listen Wally, if you don’t shut it right now I’m going to take a sample of your DNA and send it to the cops!’

On that note, I wonder what sort of behaviour would qualify for DNA sampling of five-year olds? Would it have to be violent or could any disruptive kid qualify for sampling? Maybe kids who keep forgetting to bring their books to class can get DNAed just because they’re annoying.

One Splat! Blog commenter NanaMex ponders a sci-fi scenario:

Of all of the uses of science this one scares me the most. Imagine, if you will, DNA specific viruses aimed at wiping out persons of specific heritage. This thought first came to me when the murder happened on Norfolk island and the DNA of every person living on the island was collected. There you have a genetically unique group of people, and the island would be a perfect laboratory for such experimentation.

With a gene data base such as would be collected under this kind of program genetically specific viruses would be easier to fabricate. Imagine being able to commit genocide, wiping out specific races, without harming those around them.

This idea is very similar to the premise of The Odyssey Gene by Kfir Luzzato in which the population is segregated into those who have or don’t have a specific variant of the “Davies Gene” that grants immunity to a fatal infectious disease.

And yet another Splat! Blog commenter, harlequin of sydney, penned a poem:

If you go into school today
Be prepared for a big surprise
They’ll take a sample of your DNA
If they catch you telling lies
Or handing homework in too late,
not doing what you’re told,
Asking little Nancy for a date,
Being forward and way too bold

So here’s my advice, handle it this way:
Take your homework in on time
Volunteer a bubble of your DNA
It makes a paper-glue sublime
Then when you hand your homework in
Watch the expression on teacher’s face
When they realise why you didn’t need a pin
And why your work is all white space

By the way, it is highly likely that we’ll have international DNA databases in the future. The U.S. and Germany are already talking about sharing fingerprint and DNA data with each other.

What do you think of collecting DNA from children? Take the poll in the right sidebar.

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Comment by Kaila Colbin

2008-03-27 08:24:04

The Odyssey Gene isn’t the only book with that premise. I just finished Sewer, Gas & Electric by Matt Ruff. One of its myriad plotlines involves a pandemic, engineered by an artificial consciousness; the virus literally wipes out the world’s population of blacks and then dissolves their corpses into dust within a matter of days. Not a happy plotline, but a great book!

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